Am I doing "It"?

Just be YOU.

For years - I thought I was doing just what I was supposed to be doing. I thought I was doing just what everyone wanted me to.

I faked it. No - I faked EVERYTHING.

Real emotion hidden - smile on my face - get the job done.

And guess what? It worked - until it almost killed me.

People saw: a hard worker, an achiever, a good student, a talented dancer, a good friend, a well adjusted individual. Yet I felt more out of control than I could ever describe.

Those were the days I was sitting in my seat, scared to stand up and ask for help. Those were the days I was afraid to tell someone what I really felt or thought because of how they might view me. Those were the days I forgot what feelings actually felt like. I was held captive by fear, shame, guilt, depression and anxiety.

Then I started doing "It".

Life.

The most uncomfortable, painful, annoying, frustrating, hard, and BEAUTIFUL thing I've ever had to learn (and am still learning) to do. People know how I feel - which is scary yet more gratifying than any behavior I've ever had. I feel more rested after a release of true emotion than I knew during the years of  faking "it".  Sometimes it hurts. Sometimes I cry. Sometimes I scream. Sometimes I talk. Sometimes I am Silent.

I am doing "It". -- I am standing up and sharing, asking for help. I am saying "This is me - and that is okay." I am experiencing emotions - being human, and watching the emotions come and go as I change and grow.

I was faking it. Now, I am being real.

Stand up for being real.