Wake up. Brush teeth. Eat Breakfast...... Sometimes a dark cloud hangs from the second my eyes open, other days I'm trucking along and out of nowhere I've hit a wall and am flung flat on my back.
No one ever told me recovery was going to be easy. No one ever told me it was going to be fun. I fact everyone said this (in some form or another): "It will be the hardest thing you will ever do... and absolutely worth it."
On hard days - pure grit and drive to recover are not always enough. On hard days It becomes ever so clear so I cannot do this alone.
Thank goodness I don't have to.
I have so much inspiration for my recovery.
First, I am inspired by the girls and guys I have met in the various treatment settings I've been in. I'm inspired by their courage to continue - and their willingness to support me (and others) when a hard day or situation creeps in. Those people understand me better than anyone here on this earth. It's almost like we speak a secret language: instantly calming, powerful, strong and heart-felt.
My best friend Natalie and I make this deal "You pray for me and I'll pray for you." -- Those prayers are so comforting and always help me get through even the toughest days that seem to never end.
A fellow Roanoke Dance Alumni, Lauren Gross & I talk each other down (sometimes through texting during the day) to deal with moments of anxiety, or bumps in the road - always reminding each other we're not alone.
Next, I am inspired by who I might become - just keep pushing, keep getting better, keep moving forward. I think about my family a lot in this regard - and all that they have done for me. I think about the hard work, the good days and the bad days, the impact I can make, or want to make. The people I love. The future inspires me.
Finally, I am incredibly inspired to be healthy by my faith - and what God has done for me - and what He might do through me.
Some days I like so many other wake up with a cloud - that eventually fades.
And during that time I need Inspiration
These people and things INSPIRE me to stand.
What inspires you?
When we are motivated by goals that have deep meaning, by dreams that need completion, by pure love that needs expressing -- then we truly live life. ~ Greg Anderson
ReplyDeleteWhen I was anorexic the disease had taken all those things away from me. I thought I was worthless and incapable of accomplishing my goals, dreaming about the future, or being loved. Now that I am in recovery my life is entirely different. I spend my days dreaming about where I will be in 10 years and all the lives that I will impact on the way. I have so many goals that I cannot wait to accomplish and new goals to set. And I realize that I am loveable for who I am on the inside and no one will ever be able to take that away from me again.
Recovery is truly amazing. I spent many years struggling like you described but as time went on my struggles became less and less. Then life took over and I didn't have time to think about exercise and food. It really is a boring existence to be entrapped by the disease. Once you are free from it you appreciate so many things that others just take for granted. A beautiful day is to be cherished because there was a point in my life I wasn't sure I would wake up to see tomorrow.
Keep Fighting!! It is so worth it.